Auditory illusions

Check them out.

Overheard

Three days ago:

EMMA: Dad, can I have another piece of candy?
ME: No. You've already had a lot of junk food today. It's not good to eat too much junk food.
EMMA: Why not?
ME: Well, it's not healthy. If we eat too much junk food it can make us fat and uncomfortable.

Today at church:

EMMA, REFERRING TO THE SPEAKER AT THE PULPIT: Dad, that person ate TOO MUCH junk food.

Seriously, check out this body.

Overheard

#1

EMMA: Sometimes I think we don't live in a real world.
ME: Oh really? Where do we live? In a dream?
EMMA: In a movie.
ME: I used to think that when I was four too. Is it a boring movie or an exciting movie?
EMMA: Boring. It's a movie for grown-ups.

#2

EMMA: I know what we should do for Family Home Evening tomorrow night.
ME: What's that?
EMMA: Play Wii...Even though it doesn't bring peace in our home.

Kids these days, Part II

All four of our kids are on antibiotics right now

Where do we collect our prize?

Kids these days

Overheard

ETHAN: "The Easter Bunny is just some dude in a rabbit costume who goes around and gives eggs to the moms and dads to hide. That's all he is."

"Who hath sinned, this man, or his parents, that he should be born blind?"

In this case, it's the parents' fault. Bad genes.

But his new glasses do make him look very smart, both in the American and British senses of the word.

He put them on at the store for the first time today and looked around in absolute amazement. During the drive home, he said things like "That building is made of bricks!" and "I can see individual pebbles, not solid color!"

The crazy thing is that just a few months ago he did fine on an eye test. Now his prescription is the same as mine.

Science quiz with Emma

Why is the sky blue?
Because the flash is shining inside of it.

What is the earth made of?
Lots of stuff.

Why do oceans have waves?
Because it's salty.

Why is seawater salty?
Because it's water.

Why does the Earth sometimes quake?
Because it's round. Because it spins.

Where do mountains come from?
Sand.

Does the Earth get heavier when a baby is born?
No. Because the mom breathes and the baby gets fat.

Shiner

She fell in the tubby yesterday.



It was still looking pretty good today.


She's adventurous, and has been bonking her little head a lot lately. Today she even did a cartwheel down the stairs. No black eyes or anything from that one, though--fortunately.

Overheard

I made some mini chocolate cakes for lunch today. (Yes, popcorn and something with chocolate for lunch--it's a Sunday tradition.) Emma, as usual, was my sous-chef.

ME: Emma, do you want a whole cake?

EMMA: No, I want one without holes.

Overheard

GINGER: I can't believe [name deleted to protect the innocent] has never read a Jane Austen novel.

ME: I don't blame her. I can't read that stuff either.

EMMA, INTERJECTING: Dad. That's cuz you're not a girl.

Scheming

Me: Emma, when we go to Utah are you going to go snowboarding or skiing?

Emma: I'm going to go scheming.

Me: Scheming? What kind of schemes are you going to come up with?

Emma: Little ones.

I'm a bit late in posting this, but you know how it is. We had a lot of fun in Sundance last week with Bama, Pa, aunts, uncles and cousins!

Sophalophagus