Fashion

Tonight we went to a baptism at church, so we had to get dressed up. I told the boys: NO JEANS. So they went up to their room and sat on the floor until it was time to go, and then they "decided" to get dressed (after some "gentle" "prompting" from their parents). Andrew put on: a red striped polo shirt and JEANS.

Andrew, no jeans. You need to change.

So while the rest of us were downstairs going through the shoe-putting-on ceremony, Andrew came down the stairs, without jeans. He was wearing: his red striped polo shirt, turquoise and white plaid shorts, and black socks. Ethan said: What. Are. You. Doing.  And then Ethan started laughing through his nose.

Andrew said: What.

I said: Andrew, you can't wear shorts to a baptism.

What? Why not?  You SAID NO JEANS.

(He was totally serious, and completely oblivious to 1) why we can't wear short pants to a solemn occasion and 2) why red-and-white stripes and turquoise plaid don't work.)


So we waited in the car while Andrew put on some khaki pants. It wasn't until we got out of the car at church that we realized the khaki pants only went halfway down his calves. Ginger noticed Ethan's extraordinarily baggy pants, and recognized immediately they were wearing each others' pants.

Go into the nursery, she said, and switch pants.

What? Take our pants off in church?

Yes.

But the nursery was dark! So I went in with them, turned on the light and held the door so no one could come in. Ethan took an extra long time unbuttoning his pants so Andrew had to stand in the room in his underwear and skinny legs, watching the door nervously, for a long time.  But they made the switch and all was well.

The end.

Overheard

In church each week Sophie's class sings a song about a wise man, a foolish man, and houses built on rock and sand.

The teachers must have gone into a deeper explanation last Sunday, because on Friday, Sophie came to me and said: "My teacher says we should build a rock on Jesus Christ."

"Well," I said, "we should build our house upon the rock of Christ."

Then she made a very concerned face--she had obviously been thinking about this for some time--and said, "But if we put a rock on him he will die!"

Symbolism and three-year olds don't mix.

Overheard

EMMA: Dad. I know how to spell 'dead.' D-E-D.
ME: Nope. Close.
EMMA: D-E-D-E?
ME: Nope. D-E-A-D.
EMMA: Ooh! I know how to spell 'bed.' B-E-A-D.
ME: Nope. B-E-D.
EMMA: But they rhyme?
ME: It's not fair, is it.

3, 2, 1...

Post It 2

Emma got a hold of a pad of post-it notes the other day.

Post it

Overheard

Sophie just came into my office and asked, "How do you spell chic?"

Boo-wha. Hahaaaa.

Once again, Halloween is the time of year when the differences between boys and girls are made plain.

Two zombies, a "China doll" and Snow White. Or, snails and puppy dog tails, sugar and spice.

Andrew's "barfkin." All of our pumpkins grew in the backyard this year. We cut this one's life short before it had a chance to turn orange. Since it was green, Andrew thought of a perfect design. It was actually rotten, and by the time we finished carving it we all felt like "barfkins". What we do for art.

We ran out of candy at our door within an hour. But you're welcome to come take some of the kids' loot. They all got a ridiculous amount of candy, enough to last Emma and Andrew until Christmas, or Ethan and Sophie until tomorrow night.

They were so excited for today. Emma asked me repeatedly this morning if I could believe that it was actually, finally, really, truly Halloween.

Next year Ethan wants to be a hobo. We're looking forward to seeing how he puts that one together, and what it actually means in his mind. He says the school bus passes by a group of hobos every morning. He sees them out the window, near the municipal water offices, standing by their motorcycles. (Waiting to rumble with eskimos, no doubt.)

Time for Christmas music.

The crepes are in hee-uh.

Where?

Right hee-uh.

Overheard

Sophie just came into my office, where I have some music playing on the computer while I work. She talked to me for a bit, then stopped.

This is what she said next:

SOPHIE: Is that the music from mine movie?
ME: I don't know. Is it?
SOPHIE (confused): I hear it.
pause
SOPHIE: Wait. Is that music in mine head?
ME: No, it's playing on the computer.

Overheard

ME: I have a big head.
SOPHIE: You do have a big head.
GINGER: Sophie, it's not polite to agree with someone when they say they have a big head.
ME: But it's a fact. I do have a big head. 7 and 5/8.
GINGER: But you wouldn't want her to agree with someone who said they were fat.
SOPHIE: Daddy, you're fat.
GINGER: Daddy's not fat. He's the opposite.
SOPHIE: Your head is fat. It looks like you have a baby in it.

Your parenting suggestions are welcome

Tonight at church a friend who is a Princeton PhD gave a fireside on science and religion. Andrew, who is 10 years old, really wanted to go. So I took him.

At one point during the presentation, our friend showed a slide with this number:

100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

Our friend asked: "Does anyone know what this number is?" He was not expecting an answer. The point of the question was to show how large the number is.

But Andrew raised his hand and practically jumped out of his seat. "Ooh! Ooh!"

"Yes?"

From the back row, Andrew said, "That's 1 nonillion."

Pause.

Our friend asked, "Is that right? Does he know that?"

I said, "I wouldn't think so. Then again, he surprises us all the time."

The presentation moved on, and I grew increasingly curious. So I looked up "nonillion" on my iphone. Andrew was wrong. One nonillion = 30 zeroes. The number on the slide had only 29 zeroes.

When we talked about this after the presentation, our friend the Princeton PhD was duly impressed.

I am a little bit freaked out.

6:23 PM

The music was still playing, but this ball was over.

I wish to get that for mine birthday.

After months of anticipation, the day finally came. She has literally been talking about "mine princess birthday party" since the beginning of 2009. I am happy to report it lived up to her expectations, and she is a very happy three year old.

If you want to hear what the voice sounds like that goes along with this face, click here for a silly song.

Overheard

I told the kids they could have ice cream if they ate all of their dinner.

SOPHIE: I jis want to pretend that mine soup is already all eatened.