Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I love my wife

This morning when I was spreading fertilizer on the lawn, I discovered a dead patch of grass in the back near the fence. I lifted up the grass and discovered a squirming mass of pink rodent babies. Gross. I'm not sure if they were mice or gophers or something else. But I am sure they were gross. The parent animals have been digging holes in our yard, so these little babies could not stay. I removed the patch of grass, poured in some fertilizer (poison?) for extra measure, and left the things for the birds to eat.

When I went back into the house I told Ginger. She called her mom to ask her what we should do, and Carla said we should chop off their little pink heads because if we're going to get rid of them, killing them in an instant is the most humane thing to do.

Yuck! Being a responsible husband and provider, I offered to pick them up with a shovel and hurl them as far as humanly possible into the field behind our yard (although when I imagined myself doing it, it was with eyes closed and breath held--yes, I'm a wuss).

Ginger left the room for a couple of minutes. When she returned she said "I did it."

"Did what? Chopped off their heads?"

"Yes."

Like that. She went out into the yard and sent those little animals to heaven with the business end of our family shovel. Because it was the most humane way. Then she put the remains in a trash bag and threw them away.

It made her sad in a motherly kind of way, especially when the little things started squeaking, she said. But she did it. I couldn't have.

So if you find any rodents around your house and need help, now you know whom to call.

8 comments:

stephanie said...

wow. i am speachless. ginger is my new hero.

Anonymous said...

Well, she certainly takes after her Mother, doesn't she?

Leslie said...

what a woman you have there, elliott. i seem to recall when you were about 15 and you were too scared to pick up the mouse in the driveway, so your 6 year old brother did it for you. and got a new video game for it. :)

stephanie said...

i was just telling mike that story this morning.

elliott said...

It wasn't a mouse on the driveway, it was a stinking, rotting rat carcass with a very long tail in the garage. Much worse. Live mice aren't a big deal, as long as they're not pink and furless. I don't know what it is, but there's something about little rodent babies and dead animals that freaks me out.

Anonymous said...

e, i ditto your last comment. eating dogs or cats is one thing (just cultural norms in certain ethnic groups), but squirmy, hairless rodents are SICK.

ginger is karazy!

btw - all your previous posts tell me 2 things: 1) you had a great vacation and 2) at least 1 million of the mormon population is just your extended family.

tara said...

and she's pregnant too, isn't she? What a woman! We've been catching skunks and possums in our back yard... not fun. Once they make it into they trap they are released over the bridge on the 'island', in parking garage #3. Animal control won't pick them up any more because they get so many calls, virtually every open field surrounding our house is being dug up and built upon, so these critters are seeking refuge (and digging up our yard and my flowers!) in our back yard, under our deck, ugh... I can sympathize with you guys!

Pa said...

yes it was an extremely yuccky rat! i couldn't dispose of it either but lincoln was able to do it. but i don't know if even he could go where ginger has gone! mom